Should I tell My husband that his Friend is…..?
My husband's friend has been after me for 6 months now..I have said No over and over..he keeps sending me flowers when they husband is at work(of course i throw them away)..My husband and I are newly weds(married for 1 year)..He (my husband friend) attended the same college with my husband and they play golf and hung out together a lot.
He has even sent me a diamond bracelet that i returned to him...Last night at a business function..while my husband was chatting with other people..His friend came behind and pressed against me so hard I could feel his pensis..I walked away..
Later he asked my husband and then me if he could dance with me..I said No but my husband insisted I dance with him..so i did..He was talking dirty and pressing against my breasts, he then squeezed my butt..I'm sick of this..
Should i tell my husband? and if so how do i approach my husband without making him feel like i'm trying to break their friendship..I know his friend will deny it?
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Tagged with: breasts • business function • butt • diamond bracelet • flowers • friendship • pensis
Filed under: Stainless Steel Magnetic Bracelets
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Absolutely you should tell your husband. This is a friendship you WANT broken; this man is no good. Chances are, your husband is going to believe you over his friend.
I would talk to him right away. The longer you wait before you finally do tell him, the higher the chances of your husband thinking there was something going on between the two of you.
Good luck.
Grab a tape recorder and keep the flowers around as evidence. Stop covering this this jerk wad. You should in deed tell your husband.
just be honest. if you want, keep some evidence. your relationship should be a higher priorty over his friends. keep some of those flowers to show him. any gifts or anything he sends you, show them to your husband. he will figure out the best way to deal with everything.
Tell your husband. I think this guy is a jerk and is crossing the line.
You should definitely tell him. I don’t know HOW you should do it, but definitely do it.
Tell your husband how you feel and what’s going on. His "friend" is not really his friend and both of you should stay away.
yes..before this guy destroys your marriage
I think it’s time you tell your husband what a pervert his friend is, who cares about breaking their friendship, that’s long over due since his friend has been disrespecting you. You are a wife, not a girlfriend, put your foot down that you are not some s l u t that your husband can pass around.
Simply tell him, Pretty Wife, because this thing has gone on too long now and he needs to know. And don’t feel bad about telling him. Your husband will be glad you did. You did the right thing by attempting to dissuade this guy and save your husband’s friendship with him, but it has gone beyond that now. The man is disrespecting both your husband and you. It has to be stopped. Tell your husband.
next time hold onto the flowers and show your husband. hiding it can only make things worse. what’s more important to you, their friendship or YOUR MARRIGAE?
I would warn the friend that if it doesn’t stop you are going to be forced to tell your husband. Maybe he will realize the seriousness and make the right decision. If he keeps it up, you may need to go ahead and tell your hubby. But, I would definitely threaten the other man first.
A good man will always put his wife first. Just tell him the truth. It doesn’t matter if the other guy denies it. Marriage should be built on trust, so there is no reason why your husband should not believe you. And furthermore, if this guy is doing all these things, he is no friend to your husband. Good luck.
The longer you wait to tell him, the worse it’s going to be. He is also going to wonder why you waited so long. He may suspect that you welcomed that behavior if you took so long to complain. If he’s a man, he’ll deal with that guy appropriately and you shouldn’t have to ask him to stop being friends with him.
You should have told your husband a long time ago. You need to sit your husband down and explain the jerks behavior. Otherwise your husband will suspect you like the attention and suspect infidelity on your part. A tough one – Good Luck!
Stop throwing away the flowers and gifts. Do they come with a card? Save them and approach your husband with them as proof. Simply tell him that you don’t want to hurt his relationship but his friend is trying to ruin yours. If he doesn’t understand, you may want to bring this other guy into the conversation. Even if he denies it, he may stop.
you’re darn righ tto better tell your husband. If he is any kind of man, he will put an end to it but quick. If he doesn’t, tell him to get some backbone. Meantime, let the "friend" know that the next time he rubs against you he will draw back a stump. If he talks dirty to you, slap him and in a loud voice tell the whole room that he has a filthy mouth and to keep it closed.
I would hope your husband would believe you first. I would absolutely tell him. What your friend is doing to you wholly amounts to sexual harassment, and you should not have to tolerate it.
Dang, thats quite the situtation… I don’t know what to tell you because like you said it might make it look like you are tryin to break up their friendship… Best of luck to you in what ever happens!!!
Are you sure you’re not sending this man mixed signals? It seems to me after you threw the flower away he certainly wouldn’t waste cash on a diamond bracelet, unless he’s retarded.
Yes, you should tell your husband before he twists and turns it against you when he sees you’re not playing. Also, you need to loyal to your husband and let him know what an enemy he has in this so-called friend.
Ask your husband a hypothetical question that is the real question. Say I am not saying this is happening or has ever happen, but what if it did, how would you want me to handle it. Let’s say for example a friend of yours was after me to have sex with him and was being very obvious about it. Would you want me to tell you anything about it or not. And if so how much detail would you want to know?
Why have you let this go on for 6 mos if you are not interested in keeping the attention going? If you really loved your husband and valued your marriage, you would have taken this seriously as a threat to the sanctity of it and told him after he made the first pass…and you should have told this "friend" the very first time "I don’t appreciate your advance and neither would my husband. Back off."
It takes two to tango. I have to wonder if you like the attention in some deep subconscious way.
you need to let your husband know ASAP!!! It could hurt you by waiting all this time before telling him. If the friend is still sending flowers save them so your husband can see get the name of the flower shop, take the husband there so you both can check on who purchased the flowers. GOOD LUCK
you have to come clean about this. it is not your fault and if you keep denying him he may tell your husband that your are the one pursing him. This is sexual harassment and you are a victim. it will continue to get worse. You need to cut it off now. If he is getting this agressive in public you never know what he may do next.
Seriously…your husband deserves to know one because you are his wife and two because the guy hitting on you is his friend. If your friend was hitting on your husband, wouldn’t you want to know? Perhaps the best way is to keep one of his gifts..so the next time he sends you flowers, you can show them to your husband so there is no possibility that he won’t believe you. Not that your husband won’t believe you…but the guy is his friend, and I think that your husband might think that you are simply overreacting or something like that.
There really is no best way to tell him, its going to hurt no matter what. Just make sure you tell your hubby that its not that you want to break the friendship up, you just don’t know what else to do to make this guy stop from hitting on you. Hopefully if your husband is aware and he talks to his friend, this friend will take the hint that you are really not interested (otherwise you would not have told your husband) and stop hitting on you.
Good luck…
I would tell him before the other guy turns it around and says you seduced him .
I wouldn`t call him a " Friend " of your husbands if I were you .
He definitely is not your husbands friend if he is after you .
The guy’s harassing you. You’re husband SHOULD believe you, but just in case, keep some evidence next time he sends you something. What a jerk this guy is.
You should have told your husband before it escalated to harassment. If you tell your husband now he’ll wonder why you let it go on for so long?
Yes, you should definitely tell your husband.
The next time he sends you a gift, save it, and if your husband brings up his name, tell him "Listen… _____ has been making advances at me for a long time, and I have just been trying to ignore it, but it’s really going beyond the lines of me being uncomfortable. He sends me gifts (show him the gift) and usually I throw them away, but last night, he was completely inappropriate. When we danced, he grabbed my chest, touched my bottom, and I don’t think it’s right. He’ll deny it, but I wouldn’t lie about this. He even rubbed against my back so I could feel is penis. I wanted to let you know, maybe you could speak with him about it."
First off… He overstepped his boundry as a friend when he got hands on with you. Why would ur hunsband get mad at you? Let him know now before it turns into some lifetime movie.
Tell your husband already. By hiding it so long (as it wasn’t a one time deal) you look guilty. Show him the flowers (or ask the florist for a listing of deliveries to you). Should have taken the bracelet and asked your husband to return it for you.
If you don’t want to tell your husband flat out, just tell him that you feel uncomfortable around his friend. That he can continue to be friends, but you don’t wish to have any more than the casual hello with the guy. Your husband has got to respect that. Your husband will eventually find out what is going on and then wonder why you didn’t say anything.
You should have been told your husband a marriage is built on trust and that means that you guys must share all even through it my hurt the other person you tell because that is how you two will build a bond that one can brake, and if you do not tell him now he will think that you are leaving room for you to change your mind and date the jerk, or just the fact that he is still this guys buddy is bad because this guy is bad news and your husband doesn’t need to be with a jerk like that.
WHY did you destroy the evidence???? SHOW your hubby what this man is sending you…. if he sends cards DON’T OPEN THEM…. let your hubby do it… if he sends flowers, keep the card AND the flowers (not in a vase) and let your hubby see them—without proof of what you would be saying, your husband will NOT believe you—however, show him every single UNOPENED gift, card, bouquet of flowers, whatever UNOPENED and maybe your husband will get the picture and YOU won’t be in any trouble for saying a THING.
I would tell the jerk that if he said or did one more thing you are going to tell your husband. If he does do 1 more thing then I would tell my husband. Your husband doesn’t need a so called friend like that, that is Certainly no a Friend. I wouldn’t give a S*** about their friendship. I would also stop the jerk from coming over to my home.
If you guys are newlyweds, he should understand that you love him, and if you approach him honestly, and tell him that his friend has been doing this for awhile, and that you haven’t said anything because you are not asking him not to be your friend, and you didnt want to upset your husband. you thought you could take control of the situation yourself. Tell him that the other night when you were at the business function it became very obvious that you were not going to be able to control the situation, and you need him to intervine. Good luck. it sounds messy, but if he is your husband, he should trust and love you
sorry to ask you this but,
Are you enjoying it?
tell your husband immediately, who knows?
may be your husband is testing you.
yes and I hoped you saved the stuff he sent you including the receipts for the jewelry. you should try to get it taped in case he doesn’t believe you. if this guy is really his friend he wouldn’t be doing this. btw. have you tried kicking him in the balls? I mean a really hard off the ground from the hip ball kick, the kind that would get you disbarred from the wwf?
Vin
be onest to your husband dont let a friend ruin a good relationship
Yes, you should tell your husband. The truth always comes out and if you don’t, it will look like you were hiding something from him. And do you really want your husband to be friends and hang out with someone like that? Just start from the beginning. Maybe wait until the next time you recieve flowers or a gift from this perv, so you can show him. Get a log from the flower shop of all the flower deliveries made to you with him as the sender. Good luck!
Listen girl, u will never breaking ur husband’s friendship.. it’s ur husband’s friend who is fault for not treating your husband or you respect that u are ur husband’s wife… he have no respect for doing this behide your husband with you… however how come you are waiting to long to tell ur husband til now? and yes u should tell ur husband but ur husband will wonder for why not telling him before 6 months?…..
The next time this guy sends stuff, keep it so you have some proof to show your husband! Don’t just make accusations. And when your husband has cooled down a bit, then you can tell him all that you told us.
Goodness, wouldn’t it be a surprise if hubby was in on it all along? Guess I’ll let you take that where ever your imagination goes but I think its time to put the cards on the table with your husband.
You must have liked the attention if you let him send u the stuff and then touch you without you dotting his eye…..GROW A PAIR, you have to tell your hubby, he will probably be pissed that you didnt tell him sooner.
This man is not your husband’s friend. Tell your husband. If your usband doesn’t believe you then he is not honoring your word. Record the guy coming on to you if you need proof. Honestly, you won’t be breaking up a healthy friendship.
First of all, don’t pay too much attention to those answers that suggest you are sinful and have done wrong by not telling your husband already. No one can understand the reasoning unless they have been in the same situation themselves.
However, I do think that you should tell your husband as soon as possible, and I also think that it would be to your advantage to keep some evidence to show him to prove that what you say is true. And while this is a really wacky suggestion, you should also think about the consequences in the event that your husband might have put his friend up to this in the first place. I know that is very, very unlikely, but nevertheless, still a remote possibility.
The best advice anyone can give you is to trust in your husband, and trust in yourself, and tell him what’s been going on. And don’t give a second thought to coming between your husband and his friend. His friend isn’t really much of a friend after all.
i think you should have told your husband from the beginning. But you still need to tell him about this now. This man is not a good man and you shouldn’t be around him in the first place. I would first start by telling your husband that you are uncomfortable around this friend of his and if he asks why tell him, and of course he’s going to be mad with this friend. He may even ask you why you let this go on for so long just tell him you wanted to be sure that you weren’t just making a mistake! besides this friend of your husbands is not as good of a friends as your husband thinks if he’s doing this to you in the first place!!! also keep some of the evidence that this man gives you and while talking with your husband show these things to him it will help. Good luck!!!
Tell you husband.
Your husband’s friend is not only being disrespectful of you AND your husband.. it seems to have excalated and could very easily turn into something dangerous.
IF your husband doesn’t believe you then (that’s a problem that you can solve by insisting you don’t want his "friend" around you under any circumstances).
I truly hope that your husband isn’t encouraging this WITh his friend.. telling him to do this hoping to turn it into something kinky.