Should I change my engagement ring?
Now I know I will get a lot of people will be thinking I'm materialistic and shallow for saying this but I can't help feeling a bit unsure about my engagement ring, I have always had a thing about my hands, as they are quite big and I have very long fingers and always feel self conscious with jewelery on so avoid wearing rings and bracelets.
When my boyfriend proposed of course I was very happy and didn't want to mention it, a few days later we were talking about the carats of the Diamond he was unsure about this so looked on the website of the store he purchased it from. He couldn't find it on the engagement rings section, he even looked on the "low budget" page and it wasn't there, he eventually found it in the general rings page, it is a 0.15 carat Diamond, this is when I felt a little hurt, I know it is not about the money or carat size but it's a life long symbol of our love and I can't help but feel he does not much value on it. I wouldn't want or expect him to spend loads of money on it but it now feel I'm not worth even a "low budget" ring.
He has a good job and would quite happily spend a similar amount on a discount set of golf clubs! He could tell I was a bit disappointed when we looked at the site and said we could change the ring, which I don't want to do as it won't be the ring he chose and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but on the other hand I don't want to have a ring i'm disapointed with.
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Tagged with: 15 carat diamond • bracelets • carat size • carats • engagement ring • engagement rings • feelings • few days • fingers • golf clubs • good job • jewelery • loads of money • love • low budget
Filed under: Stainless Steel Magnetic Bracelets
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If you are truly disappointed with the ring, discuss it with him. It is one thing if that is all he can afford, but if you feel he could easily afford much nicer and just didn’t, well then I can understand your concern.
If looking at your ring, the symbol of your love for this man, makes you anything but ecstatic, then something is wrong. You sound as if its not the ring that bothers you but the idea that maybe your fiance feels you aren’t worth a nicer ring (which I doubt is true). If he truly can afford a nicer ring and is willing to exchange the one you have, then I would say go ahead and do it. It is better than living with a ring you feel was an after thought.
He offered to change the ring. Gratefully accept his offer. You want an engagement ring that you will love. Don’t worry that it won’t be the one he chose. He won’t be wearing it. You will.
change the ring. it will piss you off every time you look at it. he bought you a promise ring.
Lots of people change rings, and it’s no big deal. The replacement will be just as meaningful to you as you will have chosen it together.
The rule of thumb is that the ring should be worth 1/3 of the guy’s yearly income. 0.15 of a carat is probably more like his weekly salary, if that. You’re right to expect more. You want to remind him that the ring is as much a reflection of how much he can afford and how capable he is of supporting you as it is a symbol of your love.
Couples will often replace the engagement ring in later years, with one that’s worth more. That’s an option for you guys as well.
I know this all sounds terribly materialistic, and it probably is, but it’s the honest truth.
Hello!!!
Personally, I don’t think you sound materialistic. If he can afford a much nicer ring but he chose to give you a ring that’s probably worth like his weekly salary, then I feel that your concerns are well justified. If he was struggling finacially, then it’s a different matter.
You can change rings if you want to. I changed mine when my fiance offered to change it. Mine situation is a little bit different from yours (I would not bore you with the details) but I just want to let you know that changing/exchanging an engagement ring is totally acceptable, with the right circumstance and reason. If you are reluctant to let the old ring go for sentimental reasons, you can always keep it or something. What we did is we kept the center stone of my original engagement ring and put it in a new setting. I am planning to buy a loose sapphire stone (that’s my fiance’s birthstone) and put it in the old engagment ring’s setting, and I’m planning to wear it on my wedding day as something blue. In that way, we don’t lose the significance of the original engagement ring. I know you probably want to change the center stone of yours but you can do something creative with your old ring so as to preserve its meaning.
Good luck!
First off if you don’t want to seem materialistic or shallow why are you talking about SHOULD I CHANGE MY RING? Please girlfriend you need to be happy you got a man to propose! It is not the size of the ring it’s the thought! Man now I know why guys hate commitment there are too many spoil little brats worried about keeping up with the jones, all I can say is I hope romeo finds out about you before it’s too late…GOLD DIGGER!
I would feel the same way because it is not necessarily the ring, it is the planning and saving they do before they buy the ring. It shows that you are worth the effort. If he offered to exchange it, then do so and just think about the old ring as a filler ring he proposed with so you an go together and pick out one you LOVE!
He should only get what he can afford *without* incurring debt.
If he’s got a good job and is not in debt, then he should get you something that you like that symbolizes his love for you.
You better get this taken care of. In the future, if you were ever to see him purchase a stereo, or golf clubs, or rims for his car, etc, you are going to be ticked every time.
It’s good that he offered to have it changed.
Good luck.
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I think by him offering to change your ring it speaks volumes about your relationship. It’s important you start the communication off right from the beginning. If the size of the diamond you want doesn’t fit into the current budget, why not go for a faux diamond in a setting you love, then budget and make payments on the real diamond of the same size and swap out the diamond when paid off?
Some good friends of mine did exactly that and nobody else even knew. As the groom put it, "it was our first venture in being financially responsible as a couple."
So they got married with a 14K white gold ring with a 1.25 ct. CZ. Then about a year later, she had the CZ swapped out and the new diamond put in it’s place. It looks beautiful and it didn’t turn their financial world upside down!
Hope your wedding is everything you dream AND more importantly that you and your fiance have a lifetime of love!